For those who think corporate travel is fun and exciting, this is a cautionary tale.
Some time in 2005 or so, I went to Germany to teach an IBM technical workshop (which I did all the time back then) and then in the middle of the workshop, it was decided that instead of just coming home, I would go teach another workshop (for a subject I had no materials on) in Taipei (which was quite unusual.)
This required two nights of international collect calls with American Express, booking my own hotel online in Taipei because corporate travel couldn't find me a room anywhere, and replacing tickets back to Dallas with tickets to Taipei via Hong Kong, with a return to Dallas via Hong Kong and Los Angeles.
It occurred to me sometime later that I had actually flown around the world in one business trip. Luckily, those were the days when I could fly business class. Also, somewhere over the Pacific on the flight home, I crossed one million AAdvantage miles. A million miler is awarded AAdvantage Gold for life (so far).
With apologies to Jules Verne and Sir Michael Palin (and others) -
My trip around the world was unplanned, but I survived. It was not a wager, it was not a mid-life crisis, it was business. As I can recall, someone in Taipei asked for a workshop on Eclipse programming, and I was teaching a workshop on WebSphere Studio Device Developer in Stuttgart, so naturally, I was the only person in the entire IBM Corporation that could teach the workshop in Taipei. I remember calmly (at first) explaining that a) I had no materials for the subject, b) I had minimal knowledge of the subject and c) I had no interest in visiting Asia "on the way home" from Europe, but eventually, I was convinced. (My hesitation was probably one of the reasons I was terminated years later, since IBM swears age had nothing to do with it.)
I can't find my official records from this trip, so I have no idea when it was exactly. I was in the job where it would have made sense until 2007, and the product in question (WebSphere Studio Device Developer) was one of the last workshops I taught (before we ironically wrote an Eclipse workshop), so it was probably 2005 or 2006. I'm thinking it was the summer or fall of 2005.
My recollection is that i was flying on Delta, and for some reason, Delta routed me outbound through New York and home through Atlanta. Nobody had a nonstop flight from Dallas to Stuttgart. I would have left Dallas on Saturday afternoon, connected to an overnight flight from New York, and landed in Stuttgart Sunday morning. This gave me Sunday to recover from jet lag, so I could start a workshop bright and early Monday morning. Actually, Monday was usually setup day, so it meant going in, checking the classroom, making sure the schedules were in place and coffee was ordered, and then go back to the hotel.
I loved Stuttgart - I had taught there a number of times. I remember someone asking, "What are you teaching this time?" because every time I arrived, I was on a different team but doing the same job (my workshop team tended to change products every year or so.)
The IBM Innovation Center was not in Stuttgart, it was in Sindelfingen (it may have actually been in Böblingen) , or in the woods outside the town. There were a number of hotels which were all inconvenient, so you had to book early. The Sheraton was the closest, and but would drop on and off the approved list, so you never knew if you could stay there until you tried to book it.
The cabs were mostly Mercedes (there is a Mercedes factory in town.) The drivers preferred you sit in the front seat.
I have to see if I can find the hotel again (it wasn't the Sheraton) because they saved my life. It was a small hotel, but it had a bar/restaurant so you could eat there. After spending some time with Google and TripAdvisor, I think it was the Abakus Hotel. (I also have a vague recollection that it was the second time I had stayed there, and the first time, one of my colleagues and I were the only guests.)
Of course, the one night I needed a restaurant was the night that I was on the phone with American Express Travel (collect) for over two hours, trying to book the travel to Taipei. The agent was trying to determine how to best use my return ticket to Dallas as an exchange for a ticket to Dallas via Taipei, which was a different airline. Painful. When I finally staggered down to the bar for food, it was closed. However, the staff was all drinking in the bar, so the chef just got up, went in the kitchen and made me a plate of schnitzel. I think that was the largest tip I ever left for a meal.
My last night, I wandered around the town of Sindelfingen, and when I realized I was starving, I found an Italian restaurant. There was nothing funnier than ordering Italian food in German. It was actually decent.
I had to take the train from Stuttgart to Frankfurt to catch my plane to Taipei. The train stopped at Frankfurt airport. Some of the seats on the train were sold as airline seats, because they had Lufthansa towels on them.
Assumption: Arrived Sunday, setup Monday, taught Tuesday - Thursday, flew out Friday for Taipei.
It was a mall in an airport.
Assumption: changed planes on Saturday.
The corporate travel desk couldn't find me a hotel, so I had to book online (with hotels.com, I think.) They had a hotel. So much for corporate travel desks.
I didn't pay much attention to the hotel I booked, because I had no idea what the city was like, and I wasn't really in a position to bargain - I had to take what I could get.
When I got to the hotel, exhausted, I was told I was checking in at the wrong front desk. I had booked myself on the suites floor or similar. I only got away with it because the travel desk couldn't find me a room - a great loophole. My room closet had a robe and slippers. The tub had two rubber ducks, which had labels explaining that you could take them home.
In the mornings, you would tell the bellman you needed a cab, and where you were going. He would tell the taxi driver where to take you. He also handed you a card with the hotel information in English on one side and Chinese on the other. That way, when you were leaving your appointment, you could bow and hand the card to any cab driver, and he would know where to take you. Genius.
IBM China Lab sent one of their people over to assist. I think this meant "someone to translate and apologize for any faux pas." I would answer a question, and say, "Is that clear?" and the student would say, "Yes." Then, my China colleague would speak for five minutes in Chinese, and then look at me and say, "Proceed." Eventually, I said, "I know you're talking about me, so knock it off" with a grin, which would have been hilarious in the US or Europe, but not so much in Asia. It wasn't an international incident, but it may have been one of the faux pas the lab was guarding against.
My assistant took me to dinner one evening to make sure I wasn't unhappy. He was afraid he had offended me, and one thing the IBM Asia-Pacific people had learned was that if you offended the US people or the US people found out how long the flight was to get there, they just left you on your own. (Not that I would do that.)
We went to a brewpub for dinner. It had German beer and Italian food. I think it was called Strauss Haus. So, now I had an Italian menu in German and another in Chinese.
Assumption: arrived Sunday, setup Monday, taught Tuesday - Thursday, flew home Friday.
Cokes. With ice. In a large cup!
Assumption: layover on Friday (crossed the Date Line.)
Saturday - left Dallas, transited New York
Sunday - arrived Stuttgart
Monday - setup
Tuesday - taught, rescheduled flights
Wednesday - taught, rescheduled flights
Thursday - taught, drank heavily, had Italian food
Friday - left Stuttgart
Saturday - transited Hong Kong, arrived Taipei
Sunday - jet lag
Monday - setup
Tuesday - taught
Wednesday - taught, had Italian food with German beer
Thursday - taught
Friday - left Taipei, transited Hong Kong
Friday - transited Los Angeles, arrived Dallas
Somewhere along the line, I crossed the International Date Line, which doesn't help the time in your head, but it does give you a day back. So, I probably arrived the same day I left when coming home, even though it's about 18 hours of flying.